the whole deal with the ghetto underground and nowhere road is gonna drive me out of my mind. its ridiculous to explain so i'll leave it at that. my hands are all clammy and i CANT think of anything else. i hate it when that happens! why can't my mind go back to my personal dreams and fantasy? WHY?! does a stupid-ass INTERNET message board get me all worked up? why?! shouldnt i be wise enough to know its not that important that my life will go on without it? but noooooooo i have to get exasperated, i have to sweat, i have to get angry and i have to want to HATE EVERYBODY! you know? i cant even listen to music, the one thing i love, and i cant do it. i let my mind wander when i do and for some reason these boards and all the baggage that comes with them dosent allow it to wander. yea, i'm writing cause iam angry and i need to get it all out of my system before i tell somebody i care about to go to hell... i'm a little calmer now, i havent read the last few posts and i dont plan to. i dont know what t do with those god-damn boards part of me whats to just hit the deleted button at the FTP and make em go away but the other says that i'll be just like giving in to them.

my hand is still clamy and shakin. eugh, i hate everybody. dont you?